her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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