We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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