Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
