i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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