Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Randomize
