then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
