Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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