I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
