Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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