let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
