so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
