so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
