I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
