Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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