Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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