4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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