I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
