Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
