And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize