You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
