So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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