oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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