Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
