even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
