where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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