on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
