I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
