Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
