just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
