Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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