glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
