that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
