She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
