I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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