She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
