how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
