ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
