Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
