i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I party with great urgency now.
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