I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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