he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
