Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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