Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
