when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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