After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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