Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
