love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
