And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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