Just cropdusted the office
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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