Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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