Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
