Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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