my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
