you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize