Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
