Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
