kristin has been a bad kristin
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
