Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
