I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
